Creating Ritual: Small Birthday Traditions That Are Sticking
Low-effort things we're doing that I hope my kids remember fondly one day
Welcome to Creating Ritual, a series exploring simple routines and traditions to bring more rhythm and meaning to the everyday.
I have this deep desire as a mother to create rituals for my family. I imagine that one day in the distant future, we’ll reminisce together about our favorite traditions. (“Remember that rainbow birthday garland?!”) Perhaps my kids will even carry on a version of these on their own.
Now that my oldest just turned five, she’s becoming more enthusiastic about the rituals we’ve introduced. So far, they’ve mostly been pretty simple, but I remind myself that little things are what kids often remember most.
Here are a few rituals we’ve started around birthdays:
Celebration Garland
A few years ago, I bought this colorful reusable birthday banner with changeable numbers. I now hang it up to mark each of our birthday weeks, and it adds a festive element to the house.
Birthday Stems
On our walk home from school, we pass a flower stand outside a liquor store and say hello to the owner. On her birthday this year, I had a whim to let my daughter pick out one stem. She begged for two, and I relented. Then the owner threw in three extra stems to mark five years. She skipped home carrying her mini bouquet, and we put it in a mason jar that now sits on her shelf. I’ve decided to repeat this each year.
The Birthday Circle
My favorite birthday tradition so far is probably the quirkiest. We have a lovely playsilk with a different season painted on each corner. (It’s no longer available, but I found a similar version that I might like even better.) I spread it on the ground and place a lit candle in the middle, and we all sit by the corner that matches our birth season. Then the birthday person walks around the circle once for each year of life. We count aloud together and cheer at the end.
This year, my daughter changed into her “fancy clothes” for the event, and the way she lit up as she finished her fifth lap was everything. My husband was reluctant to play along at first (he called it one of my Wiccan traditions), but now she insists that we do it for adult birthdays too — a lap for each decade.
Dinner Menu
The birthday kid requests their favorite meal. Last year, it was cheeseburgers. This year, my husband fired up his new pizza oven on the deck. We invited a couple of neighbors and called it a pizza party.
None of these are groundbreaking, but I’ve been working on embracing small starts. And I hope little customs like these serve as family anchors that help my children grow up feeling safe and loved.
How about you? Do you also crave more simple rhythms and rituals in modern parenthood? What traditions have you started in your family, birthday or otherwise? I’m always looking for more creative ideas!
My in-laws have had the same birthday banner since my husbands first birthday! We’ve started the tradition for our little family too
Ohhh I love these birthday rituals. It is 100% the little things and your kids are going to look back on these traditions so, so fondly — especially the quirky ones, like the birthday circle!
My mom has this birthday tradition that she still does for my brother and me, where she'll sing happy birthday the same number of times as the age we're turning. At this point, it's quite a few times, but I can't imagine my birthday without it! It's such a special ritual.