I Booked a Solo Europe Trip… With My Preschooler

When you’re a responsible mom who also craves freedom and adventure

At the beginning of the year, when I was brimming with “New Year, New Things” enthusiasm, I did something wild. I’ve been embarrassed to even tell my friends. I booked flights to Valencia, Spain for me and my almost 5-year-old for her spring break.

I had a desire to get back in touch with the version of myself who backpacked around the world solo. The timing was right — I’d just discovered home exchange and was between jobs.

It was also an act of independence. My husband enjoys the annual family trips I plan, but travel doesn’t feed his soul in the same way. It can feel like I’m pulling him along. Still, it didn’t seem right to abandon him with our two kids. So I’d take one of them, to be fair.

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When this plan took shape, I’d just enjoyed a few idyllic outings with my oldest daughter, like taking the city bus around San Francisco and biking to the ballet in San Diego. I was feeling a new ease and confidence as a parent, having surpassed the era of defiance and meltdowns.

Since then, it’s been clear that we’re still very much in that era. The initial excitement has turned into panic. How will we survive the long-haul flights and the jet lag and missing daddy and sister?

I’ve lost the confidence I had as a twenty-something who hopped on overnight buses in Peru without the help of a smartphone. My husband is a natural navigator and problem solver, so I default to him when we travel together. Which direction is the metro? How does this finicky lock on our rental’s door work? He takes care of it.

Funny it’s him who reminds me that this is an opportunity to show my daughter the world and experience the wonder with her. I did the solo travel thing, which was empowering, but also very, very lonely. Now I have a built-in sidekick.

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I found a flight deal and a home exchange with a young family living in a nice apartment stocked with toys. Valencia isn’t too big, with mild weather and excellent public transit and walkability. (Not hauling around a car seat was a nonnegotiable.)

We’ll stay in one place for 8 days. That’s how I like to travel — soaking in a destination, exploring all its corners, trying on another way to live.

And you can come back and read about how it all goes in 3 weeks.