Low-Key Motherhood: In Praise of the Simplified Birthday Party

Your permission slip to take a break from balloon arches and goodie bags

Introducing Low-Key Motherhood, a monthly series about finding more ease and joy as a parent.

My oldest daughter turns 5 this week, and we invited a small group of her friends and their families to her favorite beach to celebrate. The setup was so simple that I was self-conscious, but now I’m convinced we need more laidback birthdays.

I texted out an invite with a cute beach theme, and we borrowed a pop-up tent from our neighbors and a folding table from friends. My daughter helped my husband make cupcakes — she requested chocolate strawberry. We set out fruit, veggies, and hummus.

It was 72 degrees and sunny. The adults caught up while watching the kids splash around in the waves and make sandcastles. A few of us moms even braved the waves for a dip in the chilly Pacific. My youngest played in the sand with her baby friend under the shade.

We didn’t bother with decorations, games, or party favors. I made a note about no gifts on the invite, partly because I was worried about having to haul everything back up the hill to the parking lot, but mostly because my life is simpler with less stuff to manage. My daughter didn’t seem too bothered, and now she’s displaying her friends’ hand-drawn cards in her bedroom. (She’ll be getting a few special presents — including a ukulele, a nightgown, and a mini camera — from family in the mail.)

Last year we hosted a wildflower-themed party for 30 people in our backyard. I scoured the internet and the nearby canyon for decor, and my husband baked a two-layer cake topped with fresh flowers. We passed out paper flower crowns, served home-made snacks, and cleaned our house inside and out.

Party planning can be a delight, but now I have two kids and am realizing how fast birthdays come around each year. So I’ve decided that some celebrations will be casual. This year, my husband had just returned from a tough week of work travel, and I was exhausted from solo parenting while potty training. Keeping things light eased our mental burdens.

Plus, I think less fanfare can be good for the kids, and I know it’s better for the planet.